Sunday, May 21, 2017

Splintered by A.G. Howard

Title: Splintered
Author: A.G. Howard
Genre: YA Fantasy
Published: January 1, 2013
Pages: 371


This stunning debut captures the grotesque madness of a mystical under-land, as well as a girl’s pangs of first love and independence.

Alyssa Gardner hears the whispers of bugs and flowers—precisely the affliction that landed her mother in a mental hospital years before. This family curse stretches back to her ancestor Alice Liddell, the real-life inspiration for Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Alyssa might be crazy, but she manages to keep it together. For now.

When her mother’s mental health takes a turn for the worse, Alyssa learns that what she thought was fiction is based in terrifying reality. The real Wonderland is a place far darker and more twisted than Lewis Carroll ever let on. There, Alyssa must pass a series of tests, including draining an ocean of Alice’s tears, waking the slumbering tea party, and subduing a vicious bandersnatch, to fix Alice’s mistakes and save her family. She must also decide whom to trust: Jeb, her gorgeous best friend and secret crush, or the sexy but suspicious Morpheus, her guide through Wonderland, who may have dark motives of his own.


I found a copy of this book just sitting underneath a tree next to a rather peaceful looking lake one day, and since I would have hated for the elements to destroy it and there was no one else around (the nearby parking lot was completely empty when we arrived), I assumed the owner would not be returning to retrieve their book, so I put it in my bag to take it home with me. I forgot all about it for a few weeks until I started to hear some strange noises coming from my bag. It sounded almost like whispers. I tried to ignore it, but those whispers were rather persistent. 

Once I finally gave in and started reading the book, it was liked I'd been sucked down a rabbit hole. I literally could not put it down until I had finished reading it (this seems to be happening a to me a lot lately). I felt like I was actually part of this story. I grabbed a bucket to try and help Alyssa drain the ocean. I busted out a base drum to help her wake up the Mad Hatter and company, and I even acted as bait to subdue that freakin' bandersnatch (the doctor says I'll hardly have any scars at all after my wounds heal). By the end of the book, I was freakin' exhausted, and I didn't even get one of the guys. Freakin' Alyssa took both of them! Greedy bitch. 

This book gets a Queen of Hearts on a scale of Ace to King. 

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About the Author

A.G. Howard was inspired to write SPLINTERED while working at a school library. She always wondered what would've happened had the subtle creepiness of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland taken center stage, and she hopes her darker and funkier tribute to Carroll will inspire readers to seek out the stories that won her heart as a child. 

When she's not writing, A.G.'s pastimes are reading, rollerblading, gardening, and family vacations which often include impromptu side trips to 18th century graveyards or condemned schoolhouses to appease her overactive muse.

Alternate Reviews

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Saturday, May 20, 2017

Soulkiss by J. Thompson

Title: Soulkiss
Author: J. Thompson
Genre: Mythology/Erotic Romance
Published: May 4, 2015
Pages: 219


It all started with a dream. He was handsome , sexy and had a body to die for. 

He swept Arianna off of her feet with his charm and made her feel loved, cherished and protected. 

Only one problem He wasn’t real This man, this oh so perfect man didn’t exist, he was but a figment of Arianna’s over active imagination, a culmination of her day dreams and deepest fantasies. Or was he… 

A double date soon turns to disaster, starting a chain of events that’s thrusts Arianna into a world so different from her own, testing her courage, her heart and her soul.

But is she strong enough to battle through and save the soul destined for her.


I had a dream in which I was reading a copy of this book, and then when I woke up, it was in bed with me and I don't have any idea where the heck it came from. It's almost like it was destiny or something for me to end up with it. But what do I know. 

I decided since I had it, I might as well read it. But then something really strange started happening while I was reading it. Things that I was dreaming about started happening. Like I got a wicked strong craving for some nachos with that super delicious and probably about 100% fake canned cheese, and then they just appeared in front of me. And I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I ate them. And things like that just kept happening over and over again, so I decided to test it out on purpose. While I was reading, I started thinking real hard about Chris Evans, and suddenly, there he was, right in front of me. So I ate him (they didn't need him for any other Avenger movies did they? 'Cause he definitely won't be able to make it if they do. Oops.) After that I was pretty much full so I stopped thinking about food. 

But then I got sucked into the book Jumanji style. Thankfully I was simply sent to Ancient Greece where I was sold as a concubine to a wealthy wine merchant and not stuck in a jungle with mosquitoes the size of my head. Boy would that have sucked. And I gotta' say, Chris Evans was the last good meal I got until the end of the story (you'd think the Greeks would have fed their concubines better). 

So my final analysis, stop reading this book after Chapter 12, because Chapter 13 was where everything went wrong. IV stars. 

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About the Author

R J Thompson is a freelance writer of fantasy fiction, and is author of the cats section on the Fur for life pet’s website. R J has always loved history so using her wild imagination and tying in her love of history and fantasy she started writing. With her debut novel Soulkiss ready to publish R J has her sights set on producing some more mythical inspired novels along with a future series based on some hard assed demons. She has many hobbies which include jewellery making, cross stitch and paper crafts, but also works out with her husband at their local gym. As well as this they both attend Caveman training, when R J isn’t writing.

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Saturday, May 13, 2017

I Just Want to Pee Alone by Various Authors

Title: I Just Want to Pee Alone
Authors: Stacey Hatton, Robyn Welling, Susan McLain, Karen Alpert, Julianna W. Miner, Anna Luther, and more.
Genre: Parenting Humor
Published: February 27, 2013
Pages: 204


Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand. Hasn't every mother said it before? “I just want to pee alone!” I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Insane in the Mom-Brain, The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, Baby Sideburns, and Rants From Mommyland. Read hysterical essays like: Embarrassment, Thy Name is Motherhood A Pinterest-Perfect Mom, I am Not And Then There was that Time a Priest Called Me a Terrible Mother So She Thought She Could Cut Off My Stroller.


I was given a copy of this book at a baby shower (not mine). I was just standing there next to the present table, and someone walked up and gave me a present. I was totally shocked for a minute because I didn't think guests at baby showers were supposed to get presents, but then I just ripped right into the package and discovered this book. People were giving me really strange looks for the rest of the shower, but I probably just had a booger hanging out of my nose or something. 

I was able to totally relate to the stories in this book, which is really weird because I don't even have kids or pets, and yet there is ALWAYS someone in the bathroom watching me pee (they usually leave me alone when I'm dropping a deuce, I'm sure you can imagine why.) All I want is just a little bit of time to myself to pee and read a chapter or five in my newest book. Is that really too much to ask? (Apparently, because I never get it!) 

While I thought these stories were all funny, they all felt like really manufactured. Like who has kids that are that awful? When I'm a parent, you better believe that my kids won't behave like the kids in these stories behave. There will be no melt-downs in the dairy section of the grocery store, and my kids will always be perfect angels when we go out to eat. I tell you what. Honestly, once I have kids, I'm probably going to write a book about how to be the perfect parent. I might even just start writing it right now, because I already know pretty much everything there is to know about parenting. 

So I give this book a deuce, because it did make me laugh, but I just can't respect the authors because they clearly don't have their shit together. 

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Alternate Reviews

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Taming Her Tycoon by Yahrah St. John

Title: Taming Her Tycoon
Author: Yahrah St. John
Genre: Romance
Published: December 20, 2016
Pages: 224


She's the ultimate temptation 

In high school, Naomi Brooks had a major crush on Lucius Knight—much like every other girl. So it's oh-so-satisfying to have the sexy corporate raider eager to buy her organic-products company years later. This man doesn't know how to lose. And he's making it clear that he wants Naomi's business as well as her body… 

Even when Naomi was a rough-and-tumble tomboy, Lucius was drawn to her. Now that she's bold, sexy and confident, she's even more alluring. He's willing to play dirty to convince her that a liaison can be mutually beneficial in and out of the bedroom. But that gamble, and an explosive family secret, might cost him the only conquest that truly matters: her heart.


I picked up a copy of this book in the self-help section of my bookstore, so I thought that it was going to be a how-to manual for the taming of actual tycoons. Ever since reading 50 Shades of Grey, I've been trying to snag my own troubled millionaire, and thought this book would help me out. Sadly, it didn't. 

Because this book is not a freakin' self-help book. Whoever put it in that section at the store is a jerk. They got my hopes for nothing. I mean, sure, the blurb probably shouldn't have given away that this is just a normal romance novel, but reading blurbs is for squares and I ain't no square man. And once I got started reading the book, I thought maybe in spite of the fact that it was a romance novel, it might still have some good tips for me, but the best tip was to have gone to school with a guy who runs his own profitable business and who also has the hots for you, which rules out EVERY. SINGLE. GUY. I went to school with. I mean sure, they all have the hots for me, but they're pretty much losers. 

So now I've wasted 5.43 hours reading this book, and I'm no closer to bagging my billionaire. But I guess on the bright side, I don't have to worry about getting a divorce from my current husband just yet (#SilverLining). 

So for what it was, this book gets 4 stars, I guess, but my real rating is -3 stars because it wasn't what I was expecting it to be, and that pisses me off, so it doesn't deserve any stars, and I actually want to take some extra stars from it to give to other books in the future that might help me in my quest. 

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About the Author

Yahrah St. John is the author of twenty published books, fourteen with Harlequin Kimani's Romance line and three e-books. In May 2014, St. John won the 2013 Best Kimani Romance from RT Book Reviews for A CHANCE WITH YOU. A graduate of Hyde Park Career Academy, she earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from Northwestern University. Prior to becoming published, she wrote twenty stories and plays. St. John is also a member of Romance Writers of America. St. John is an avid reader of all genres. She enjoys the arts, cooking, traveling, basketball and adventure sports, but her true passion remains writing. St. John lives in sunny Orlando, the City Beautiful. For more information, please visit:

Alternate Reviews

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